Fat Man Talking (the metaphor)

Mirror mirror on the wall

Mirror mirror on the wall

I’m not saying that I’m not a liberal … I’m not saying that I am a liberal either. These confounded explanations cannot be helpful to a politician. It can be quite straightforward if you really try.Let’s take the example of a Christian Democrat of the typewho find their inspiration straight from papal encyclicals and whose past political stances really show it…it would be difficult for such a person to twist and turn within this self-imposed straightjacket and try to claim the unclaimable simply in order to fit into a party that still tries to kid itself that it is an “Umbrella Party”.

Since we love metaphors,let us think of the PN as a big big fat man (1) who owns a very very thin and small mirror. Every glance he gets at the mirror he only sees a part of the whole since the whole picture cannot be reflected (2) . He is pleased with what he sees because he cannot see the big picture and how unpleasant it is to the naked eye. So lives on, comfortable in his mind that all is well and that a couple more visits to McDonald’s will do no harm (3).

Here’s Tonio Borg’s letter to the Times (4) that inspired this quick post:

With reference to the article titled PN Is Not Liberal (January 26) I would like to correct the reported facts.

At no instance during the dialogue held at the Balzan Nationalist Party office on Sunday, January 25, did I make a reference to same sex marriages or cohabiting couples. It must be stated that I made no reference to the “conservative ideology” governing the values of the Nationalist Party (7). To the contrary, I said that the PN’s principles are not based on liberalism but on sound Christian Democratic principles. This implies that the Nationalist Party is not governed through a laissez-faire attitude but one where state regulation ensures the protection of those citizens in most need of protection and assistance. (5)

Furthermore, in Parliament, I stated that it would be unjust for the landlord to be forced to acknowledge at his expense the transfer by inheritance of a lease to relationships beyond the current ones protected by law. (6)

(1) Yes this MIGHT sound politically incorrect but the size is an essential part of the metaphor.

(2)  Unless he holds the mirror very far away but then it would be too far to see the contents thereof (we’re talking women’s nosepowdering mirror) – that’s for the pedants among you.

(3) Not that I am implying that a couple of visits to McD could harm you. I love the vanilla milkshake – so long as they keep that shake messers NoGlobal can go taunt Burger King instead (incidentally BK have a good vanilla ice cream).

(4) One  last footnote… why does Tonio Borg sign in this fashion: “Tonio Borg, Deputy Prime Minister, Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Valletta” when he is very evidently speaking in defence of his party and the principles he believes it holds dear? I mean this is not exactly Malta’s policy on Gaza is it?

(5) Ok one more. Does the last sentence really and truly mean that the PN will care for the rights of poofs? Yep … I’m in politically incorrect mode. If you don’t like it… bite me. In case you are still concentrating re: the last sentence the clue lies in the use of the phrase “in most need of assistance”. In fact it’s a bit like asking a Lowellian supporter to draft a list of criteria of which immigrants to save from the sea.

(6) This one is an appeal for clarity. Would the last paragraph be an attempt to befuddle the readers with a totally unrelated sentence? Or was Tonio’s Voice truncated by an ill-meaning liberal subversive working at Strickland House. Hmmm.

(7) Forget the order. Just noticed this one. The fact that he “made no reference” to something does not mean that it does not exist. Is it a denial or an affirmation? God knows? And in this case god seems to be the Deputy Prime Minister speaking on party affairs.

All references to size and weight in this post are purely metaphorical and fictitious. The weight mentioned in this story has no connection to any weight in real life (neither do the words “poof “or “Lowellian”). Eat at least five fruits a day to remain healthy and never (never ever) be rude to a homosexual or far right loonie (even when this turns out to be the same person). J’accuse supports homosexual rights, the freedom of expression and the right of McDonalds to sell milkshakes within the laissez-faire free market. It even supports the right of Tonio Borg to be a conservative Christian Democrat.

This has been J’accuse… outing non-liberals so that you don’t have to!


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