Das Joke

This must be one of the funniest collection of jokes I have seen in a while (BTW the picture above is completely unrelated). Don’t ask why, but I found them during one of my serendipitous netcombing adventures. There they were under the heading “German Jokes”. As one of my other blogs says… “the laughing fit… the rest stay out”. Enjoy….

German Jokes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The police. I’m afraid there’s been an accident. Your husband is in
hospital.

A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly
low self-esteem.

What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.

Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their
appearance has a degree of gravitas.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: ‘Last night I saw lots of strange men
coming in and out of your wife’s house.’
The other man replies: ‘Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her
drug habit.’

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out
and runs away.
One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell
pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.

 This has been j’accuse… getting it so you don’t have to.

9 responses to “Das Joke

  1. Fausto Majistral

    “Funniest collection”? Haven’t you been following the comments thread to the previous post?

  2. hahahahahahahaha I love them!

  3. Is Fausto German?

  4. Fausto Majistral

    As much as you are a convicted perjurer!

  5. Ġenjali dawn!

  6. As I have already said, I have always wondered whether Bono was unjustly convicted.

    It was (and is) quite common for noblemen of Strickland’s class to be freemasons.

    Of course, in super-ultra-catholic Malta, it would have been a political kiss-of-death.

  7. Brilliant!!!

  8. loved them

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