Always Someone There to Remind You

Original Python Series featuring Yorkshire Sketch

Original Python Series featuring Yorkshire Sketch

Just when you think that the pot and kettle politics might be about to abate out comes Berta “Fire and Brimstone on the Labourites” Sullivan with another article reminding everyone how nasty Labourites really are. It’s The Four Yorkshiremen Sketch all over again… for those who are bovvered enough to watch the show, Berta’s article is in today’s Times. It goes without saying that it is an answer to a provocation by another one of those misguided Labourite sods.

Belonging “to the losing generation of Lab-ourites”, a columnist of this daily wrote that “in the past, I sometimes reflected on how tough it must have been for those Nationalist activists who lived through the years 1971-1987 little realising that I myself would eventually go through the same experience”. My God, what cheek! How can he compare what the Labourites experienced under a Nationalist government to what the Nationalists suffered through the years 1971-1987? Those years were not “tough”, they were a nightmare, a 17-year long one which not only traumatised Nationalist activists but the whole nation! – Berta Sullivan, TOM today.

What about us then, aye Berta? What about us who had to suffer the years of Labour AND the years of Nationalist government. Suffer? I don’t need to bloody compare – first I get Labour’s geniuses trying to stifle my education at every step, then when I try to live my life in a democratic republic I discover that the not so secular Nationalists are in government to tell me what is right and how to live (by their morals of course). Jeez… you want suffering? Then I’m a bloomin’ martyr aren’t I?

Here’s a bit of the Four Yorkshiremen Sketch:

FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t’ mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi’ his belt.
SECOND YORKSHIREMAN: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o’clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of ‘ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
THIRD YORKSHIREMAN: Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to ‘ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o’clock at night and lick road clean wit’ tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit’ bread knife.
FOURTH YORKSHIREMAN: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN: And you try and tell the young people of today that ….. they won’t believe you.
ALL: They won’t!

4 responses to “Always Someone There to Remind You

  1. Ah yes. Berta Sullivan. She who lives n a perpetual state of indignation at the Labour atrocities committed in the Eighties. She who has a monopoly on martrydom. She who peppers her frequent missives with shocked “What cheek” and frequent exclamation marks. The PN Information Officer or something of the sort,who never signs off as such (Why? Is she ashamed to be outed as a Nationalist Elf? Or is she petrified of being tasered with Joseph Muscat’s pepsodent smile? Or of being twacked on the head with a rolled-up copy of it-Torca). Where would we be without you Berta? Probably reading articles about present day politics….

  2. yes, the blue eye Che Guevaras who liberated Malta in 1987. shame it is not a public holiday.

  3. Raphael Vassallo

    Beauty. Here it is in original glory:

  4. The French have a rather apt name for this phenomenon: the generally derided ‘course a’ la victimisation’.

    But what continues to astonish Sigmund is that the Berta apparatchiks of this world continue to spout their wisdom from the pages of Le Times week in week out. NET, in-Nazzjon, l-orizzont, Radio 101, it-Torca, Super One, Kullhadd, il-Mument, Super One Radio, maltarightnow, maltastar just ain’t enough.

    Mieghek…Kullimkien…F’kull hin…Flimkien…

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