Taken for a (Porno) Ride

The Times reports that a bus driver has been granted bail and banned from approaching a school after a porn dvd was screened on a school bus. The updated news item includes a clarification that the article was corrected “to remove sentence that the DVD was supplied by the children”.

I remember that way back (jeez) in my days at SAC secondary our history teacher came up with the brilliant idea of showing us some slides relating to some  particular period of English history. Every class came with all kinds of students and there would inevitably be the more precocious who would have access to something more than a picture of Belinda Carlisle in a particularly tight pair of jeans and white shirt (in which, with sufficient imagination, you could almost perceive a nipple or two). Well in our class it was a guy who we shall call Theobald (since anonimity seems to be the trend).

Theobald came up with the bold idea of switching the slides with a set of pornographic slides he had managed to obtain – presumably from one of his elder friends who would take him on educational trips to the City Lights cinema in Valletta. No one would dare to challenge the self-appointed guru of sex (also self-nicknamed the 13 inch for obvious reasons that I never wished to verify). So there we were, sat prepared for a history class that that threatened to degenerate into an impromptu biology class of the uncensored kind. As it happens something went wrong with the plan and we were destined to remain bored by photos of Hastings, Hengist and Horsa instead of the Heavenly Whores of Hawaii.

Had his diabolical plan gone through we would have faced the wrath of an unforgiving prefect of discipline. A jesuit who would later in life switch back to the lay pleasures of life after meeting a particularly attractive Albanian young woman while on some mission or other. Nothing really happened and life at school went on, with porn flicks on video being surreptititiously exchanged among the more adventurous, and with regular raids on our school diaries in order to have our various collages of Samantha, Belinda et al confiscated. (In case you were wondering I never had the guts to share the moving pictures though I do not deny having been curious – as for stickers, I remained a Calciatori nerd for as long as I remember although i did have a picture or two of Belinda between a selection of pro-Juve graffitti).

Why do I say all this? Well, I tend to see the driver’s point of view. There is more of a possibility that the driver was busy doing his job – driving – while some cocky kid (no pun intended) asked him whether they could watch some DVD on the screen without explaining the smutty content thereof. Salvu, our SAC driver used to acquiesce to our requests to listen to Music Trip 35 on the drive to school in much the same way. Anything to keep the pesky kids quiet.

It’s an assumption I am making. But I guess it would take a wild imagination and a very perverted mind to think otherwise. What benefit can a driver get from having a busload of kids watching porn while he navigates the busy morning roads of Malta? Seriously. The only lesson we learn out of the story is that this particular bunch of kids need more supervision than what they are getting from a man who has to keep his eyes on the road if he wants to get them to school safe and sound.

So here we go. Another discussion. Should every bus have a supervisor apart from the driver? In my time it was a Bus Captain. He was endowed with reporting power and was responsible for the behaviour on the bus. It didn’t always work well – particularly with some bullies who would prove their power by challenging his authority. On the whole it could be a straightforward solution that helps us avoid making another mountain out of a molehill.

I wonder if Theobald ever googled “pussy”? 

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9 responses to “Taken for a (Porno) Ride

  1. “Defence counsel Anglu Farrugia told a court that the driver did not know what was on the DVD, which the children had asked him to screen.”

    The people posting comments on the times website are about to form a lynch party. Ha jehel dan ma rashom minhabba il-weatherman.

  2. As soon as I read the news item on the times website I could see that the usual lynch party would jump at the opportunity to run around like headless chickens squawking about the pervs out on the loose…sure enough within a couple of minutes they were posting comments… the question which springs to mind is not whether we should stone all pervs, but whether these omnipresent commentators have nothing better to do than whip themselves up into hysterical panics.

  3. I posted a message on the timesofmalta website and they censored it. It read:

    “A schoolgirl asks a driver to play a dvd on a bus and it turns out to be porn…

    Wait for the verdict before hanging this man.”

    The times moderator removed the first sentence.

  4. Jennifer Galea

    Jacques René ,
    you’re on our links roll, sweetie!
    There’s another one or two, too…too too, too too, too too too!
    Jennifer die Feisty von Lejbar een lejbar

  5. Hmm, interesting theory although the fact that it was a busload of schoolgirls rather than schoolboys makes a bit of difference.

    Second, couldn’t you have chosen a sleazier name than “Theobald” as a pseudonym for your friend? Like “Fausto” “Theobald” sound like someone who doesn’t get any.

    And, by the way, what is he doing now? Left the life of earthly pleasures and joined the priesthood?

  6. I don’t see much difference between a cocky boy and a bully girl Fausto. From what I remember, bullyish girls in their early teens can be even more threatening than boys – especially to a bus driver. Throw in a couple of threats that if he even lifts a finger to stop them they will tell mummy to tell the police (and probably the story re the lifting of the finger will be much more creative than simply “mummy he touched me”) and he will end up vilified just like the Weatherman. That too is the danger of lynch mobs.

  7. I agree with Jaques, at that age … girls are much worst than boys. Just go and ask any secondary school teacher.

  8. One should recite Our Lord’s prayer and meditate on the words “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others who trespass against us” before lynching. Most of us, if not all, have done wrong. Remember that the difference between a man in prison and the man in the street is that he was caught while the other is not necessarily faultless. Those who have done no wrong… are invited to throw the first stone. Meanwhile…… the lawyer’s wallet gets fatter and fatter!!!!

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