It’s that day in the year again. Ever since internet surfing has become second nature it has become one of the most fertile grounds for identifying those great gags when serious news channels or papers decide to throw in their very own April Fool’s item. Last year Google had a big one. I am still on the look out for any good candidates. A quick surf this morning over the Maltese sites only produced this jewel from the jokers at maltastar: Couple in talks to open first Maltese porn channel (Maltastar).

Later in the day Maltarightnow is expected to announce that the government has not really reactivated Malta’s membership in the Partnership for Peace but that it was simply an early April Fool’s ploy. The Times will introduce a number of blogs featuring unfettered criticism of the government just for the day. Observers expect the Independent to notice that today is April Fool’s day around seven in the evening and a belated article will be added to the online edition quoting an obscure blog’s declaration that the Mistra development will be given the go-ahead after all.

The website will announce that liberal columnist Daphne is divorcing from her hubbie and will be marrying Jason Micallef in a brief ceremony (a filler not to lose the brownie marriage points). Robert Micallef of Wired Temples will report a blog post that was posted on the same day. Former Minister Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando will open his own website and inform the Maltese public that he has taken up journalism as a full time profession. Another new personal website this time by Georg Sapiano will announce that GS will run for the MEP elections.

The Gonzi government will announce that the date for the first meeting for Parliament will be around the 8th June in order to allow Labour to choose its leader. It will also announce that until then decisions will be taken by Cabinet without consultation – force labour (and force majeur) – any blame for this decision should fall on the Labour party (after all it is their fault that they cannot choose a leader more quickly).  Later in the day the Gonzi government will announce that this was not an April Fool.

The Labour party leadership candidates will collectively renounce their pretensions for leadership and Lorna Vassallo will be unanimously declared soul candidate. A second press release will include the errata corrige: we did not mean “soul” but “sole”.  Harry Vassallo will announce that he is leaving Malta to go to Tibet and lead a real uprising in a country where his talent will be appreciated. He will not be liable to payment of tax while in Tibet.

That’s all for now from the J’accuse news desk. We hope you enjoyed this part of the April Fool scoop (poisson d’avril) and do look out for more scoops later in the day.

J’accuse …  you can fool some of the people some of the time but you can’t fool all the people all of the time


8 responses to “Protaprilia

  1. Posing in front of a mural of Evarist Bartolo kissing Alfred Sant in Breshnev-Hoenecker style, Joseph Muscat will say: “I am not Alfred Sant. I am Joseph Muscat.”

  2. = this is April fool.

    Din harbitlek Jacques.

    Our new roads cannot look like that during the rainfall.

    Good one Gonzi!I am rofl

  3. J’Accuse hasra li Abraham Lincoln ma kellux il-licenzja tal-Creative Commons bhalek.

  4. No…even better.

    In a coordinated MLPN April Fool’s sting, Joe Saliba will produce conclusive genetic and photoshop documentation showing that Evarist Bartolo, Joseph Muscat and Alfred Sant are actually all Alfred Sant. MLP issues a terse statement which simply says “So what?”

  5. The Labour Party announces that the election for Party Leader will be held among Nationalist Party Delegates Only. This to ensure that the future labour party leader will be one who can attract PN votes. Defni and ABC will be heading the electoral commixin to ensure absolute transparency u serjeta’. The Labour Party furthermore states that rumors doing the rounds that Gorg Abela will be the only candidate to submit his application are not well founded. It is reliably understood that JPO is also considering his options but much depends on the results of the vote-buying investigations currently in hand.

  6. The funniest thing about maltastar’s april fool’s joke was the aftermath: 2000 people actually registered on the website to be “the first to know about the launch of the new porn channel”. They are now all frantically phoning maltastar to make sure their email addresses will not made public…

  7. Josanne – Seeing that everyone’s suddenly a smart-arse about Labour’s defeat at the polls, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone came up with some new theory based on those 2000 porn enthusiasts. Did Labour tap into the porn enthusiasts market? Did it appeal to the middle-class desperate housewife? Did it appeal to lonely Jack the single plumber? Why did it not package its message effectively to attract all those hormone-driven young voters?

  8. DF: LOL

    …was it a cunning trick to see how many people in Catholic Malta are secret porn watchers? Will this damaging info be deviously used in order to destablise and eventually bring down the government? meanwhile, have you heard the one about the Finnish minister who was made to resign…?

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