Come Fly with Me (PN Style)

Today I received a weird phone call on the workplace. A colleague of mine whose name I shall not disclose called me to ask me a ‘sensitive question’. It appears that the colleague in question let’s call her Miss C was contacted by another colleague who had in turn been sent an important request from the electoral team of those happy folks at the Don’t Waste Your Vote Party. The request seems to be that someone trustworthy on this side (wink wink nudge nudge) obtain a list of names of persons who would not hesitate to put their number one preference next to the black marble insignia come election day.

Whyfor? I hear you ask. Or you would ask if such a word existed. Well. It seems that the jolly team who sometimes call themselves ELCOM when on official business defending their loyal voters from Labour nuisance suits (or on the other official business filing nuisance suits against Labour voters) – well, these guys have promised to organise transportation for the people figuring on the list. Organise is not exactly the word. It’s PAY THE BLOODY FLIGHT. Yep. That’s where all the money you donate to the PN goes ladies and gentlemen. Talk about buying your vote.

Now, I kindly told my colleague that notwithstanding all my good intentions (which at that point were not many) I was not in a position to identify the nats from the labs in Luxembourg. What I would tell her is that there are plenty of the disgruntled Vote Wasters readying for a trip to the isle to WASTE their VOTES. Of course they are dying to do the whole nine hour trip business to vote for something which in Daphne’s opinion, they have absolutely no interest. It’s just a hobby we have up here to while away the cold winter nights.  I also told my friend to avoid adding my name on the list in case she did not want to provoke choking attacks on the new parquet in Joe Saliba’s office.

Anyways there are two things that piss me off in this story. The first is that someone in Pietà thinks that there are people here gullible enough to swallow the PN PAYS YOUR WAY story. My guess is twofold. Either the paying part is a bluff …. as in they would ARRANGE the trip down… but using the normal government organised flights and not on some PN budget. The phone call just helps PN win more buddy points with the naive electors. The second, more worrying alternative is that we are being asked to make our own census. Essentially the list will help PN understand whether there are enough numbers to be worth the hassle of chartering a plane. It’s not the chartering that’s the hassle… it’s the possibility that they will be flying down more disgruntled voters than they thought. Or maybe whether they will even bother.

Lovely. I still have a wedding planned for March 8th so I hope they decide pretty fast. Because I’m going to be in Malta anyway around that time and if PN can spare me some euros to spend in  sunny Malta… well then, so be it an I’ll sing Ole! Ole! Ole! all the way down…

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9 responses to “Come Fly with Me (PN Style)

  1. Useless voting Jacques, we all know what the outcome will be like……….landslide victory for AD, Harry Potter prime minister, Arnold Cazzaruola (cacciato dalla camera dei Deputati) Minister for Agriculture and Mortadellone Prodi in foreign affairs…………

    BTW still waiting for an article of yours on the chaotic “coup” situation in Italy. Mi raccomando…

  2. Well thanks to JJB I’ll be in Malta.. so why not pop over to my local voting booth? How could I miss those charming men standing on the border line just before you enter the voting area? As for the chaotic Italian coup caused by Christian-Democrat masters of appalti… don’t hold your breath. I thought of regaling you with an article about coalition governments that last, like Luxembourg’s for example… but then it would be so non-controversial it would border on the ridiculous. And anyway, coalition is not my bone to pick… I’m interested in a wider constitutional theme of disenfranchisement of the voter. Today AD is the excuse and scapegoat? Tomorrow what will it be? Thank God for Sant and Ad.. Rupert said it right… is that why I should vote PN?

  3. Just joking Jacques, relax…..

    Agree with you on Mastella, the greatest political opportunist I have ever seen.

    However, my request for an article on the present Italian scenario was genuine ……not intended to be a flamer on coalition governments.

    Saluti.

  4. I want it known that MY VOTE IS FOR SALE. Contact me with your proposals. Happy bidding. (so is MY IMMORTAL SOUL and a 4 YEAR OLD EXERCISE BIKE – ONE CAREFUL OWNER, BARELY USED).

    Caps should help ENSURE A SALE by the end of THIS WEEK.

    Indeed INDEEDY. Vote FREDU GONZI, get ME.

    (FTW!!!)

  5. Black marble insignia? Oqghod attent, ghax minkejja li l-pmaduma hija tan-Nazzjonalisti, l-iswed fuq il-poza tal-vot se jkun ta’ l-Azzjoni Nazzjonali u ta’ l-Alternattiva. Tkmplix thawwadhom , jahasra, Jacques…

  6. Jacques, I think you should take up Anton’s suggestion and write about Italian political history. The bit about Mafia/Christian Democrat collusion to keep the dangers of Communism at bay seems to be particularly relevant. It sheds light on the “end justifies the means” argument that is meant to be so convincing. Cheerio and hope to see you even if you make it over to Malta in a canoe(not provided by Stamperija).

  7. No, no Claire, I’ve never requested anything about “Italian political history”. I genuinely and simply asked for my friend’s opinion on the PRESENT political scenario in Italy.
    Putting aside the Macchiavellian bible, I urge Jacques not to come in a canoe………you know these days – boats, illegal immigrants……..

  8. I think it would be rather amusing if you put your name on the list and try your luck – you never know -desperate times=desparate measures. If you do give it a go let me know so I’ll be present for the list reading teehee

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