iPhone, Internet Revenue and L.A. (and Rent-a-Wife)


Baby it’s cold outside. This has not stopped the first iPhones on the UK to sell out like hot pastizzi*, only you do not have to queue for 24 hours outside Mr Maxims to get your hands on one of those. The UK is also the first country to register an important statistic: for the first time, the internet has overtaken television for the collection of advertising. This has led to the sharpening of knives and bettering of web pages in the newspaper department – mainly because the “first big shift” in advertising revenue and consequently in content presentation is going to be from the printed page to electronic. J’accuse was not predicting the unpredictable whenever discussing the role of blogs in today’s community. Maltese papers too will pick up on this trend and they will continue to improve on their electronic format – quite possibly including proper blog sections.

The better half is off on a short five day trip to L.A. A friend of hers who is a professional photographer has had a book published some time back and the film version of the book is being premiered this week – hence the travelling consort. I couldn’t not take advantage of her trip to the States at a time where the greenback is at it’s weakest. Just the right time to reap the rewards of the strong euro – hence the shopping list. Did you know that you can save €400 on average when buying a laptop from the US right now? So dearly beloved has been duly consigned list A for electronics and list B for personal apparel from Messrs Abercrombie & Fitch – the greatest clothes shop in the universe (with a horribly expensive London branch).

* Incidentally this pastizzi comparison has given me a crazy idea. In India, phone centres are flourishing putting locals at the other end of a phone call from Socksborough or Granpunbberry answering customer concerns from the middle of Olde Englande. It works. India has the cheap personnel and customers get quicker access toplace their query/complaint. What could Malta offer? I give you the “Maltese Early Morning Wife Army”. You know the type … she is up at 5 a.m and by eight she’s already been to mass, bought the veg, the meat and the fish put the pot on the fire and swept the dust away from her front porch. She has no bitter fight with the God of the early hours and can be programmed at top efficiency in the early hours of dawn. She also possesses an indeterminate reserve of blabbing ability – a very useful asset.

So what do we use them for? We offer them for rent. Rent-a-wife will be useful – not for sexual or shady purposes but for those nasty queuing moments. Need to buy an iPhone and don’t like the idea of the queue? Rent-a-wife. She’ll out queue anyone and probably put them off with her chats about the latest teleseries available on MTV or superwann. After all she’s used to just popping in at the butcher’s and spend hours gossiping when all she wanted was a “kwart mortadella”. Given sufficient incentive she might even do the job for free – Advertise a group holiday with Eurotours – Day 1 Oxford Street, Day 2 Camden Market, Day 3 John Lewis Store, Day 4 Queue ghall-iPod. Blimey. they’d probably pay you to do the stuff.


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