I.M. Jack – ninth edition

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. Mark Twain.

I.M. Jack – the news shortcut

1. Discount
Last minute October sales came for three teams – Lazio, Fiorentina and Juventus – all had their penalties reduced. As Serie A still struggles for an identity without its favourite team, AC Milan were the only team to have their penalty stay as it was.

2. Borat
The heat is on as the release date in Europe approaches. Controversy abounds including ridiculous accusations of fomenting anti-semitism. Does parody of anti-semitism cause anti-semitism? And did Hashet beget Japhet or did they just adopt him at a supermart?

3. Budget
Debate continued about Viagra and other machisms. Yesterday Governor Gonzi was busy explaining how the discount on the surcharge is another Good Thing brought to the World by the Nationalist Government. Like the Departure tax, the discounted surcharge was originally a PN measure. Sant is meanwhile still lost in viagristic vagaries.

4. Failure
The President of the US of A is still struggling to find a comfortable definition of Failure. His approach is basically to shift the goalposts by successive minimalist definitions of Success. He should learn some lessons from the PN spin masters. He should definitely steer away from Alfossa though. “Our mission in Irak has been like a Viagra to the people?” naah… definitely a no-go for the Mid-Terms.

5. Phosphorous
Israel admitted to using white phosphorous on troops – an action that is contrary to the Geneva Conventions. As we post there is still no mention of a US invasion to repristinate democracy and Human Rights in Tel Aviv.

6. Death
On a personal note we must excuse ourselves for the feeble blogging that might ensue in the next few days. Death always has this mind numbing existential effect on us.

7. Food
Kebabs have proven to be (as always) the valuable meal when all else is too time-consuming or expensive. Whether in Etain, Metz or Luxembourg always look out for a good Turk. And then they say that they should not join the EU…. Join? They practically feed us!

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