She Stoops to Conquer

A few among us bloggers of the blogosfera have opted to use the blog as an opinion column of sorts. We do not form part of the journalistic reportage style of blog (at least not all the time) and neither do we indulge in self-chronicling activity of the Pepys sort. We stick instead to that most Maltese of fashions – the opinionist. This uncontrollable spill-over from the paper has allowed the proliferation of easily accessible opinions for those who are brave enough to tread (and have time enough to read) into the various private realms of thought.This does not mean however that the original opinionists have vanished from the various journals and rags that adorn our island. The Becks (godblesshissould), Vassallos (raphael & lorna, jg), Caruana Galizias, Mallias, Roamers, etc invariably provide their ha�penny worth of ideas to the populace who can still afford that quarter of a lira to purchase one of the dailies. Whenever I read this kind of column I always wondered what were the criteria for accepting the columnist in the first place. Some like Beckgodblesshissoul (will stop this arse-licking as soon as I get over the number of hits I got following his mention), Raphael and Daphne fit to column writing like a glove. Others, hmm how shall I put this… others make me wonder whether the editor was on a drinking binge when their first application found its way from the in-tray to his desk.

You may have guessed. I have another bone to pick with her again. Punctually every Thursday Lorna �Robin�s Hood� Vassallo is regaling us with another diatribe against the forces of capitalism, money in general, the upper-classes and probably Darth Vader (oh… and the inferior gender…men). This week the Dame of the Poor and Destitute has harrumphed oncemoretime against upper-class virtuosos and more particularly against the Order of the Knights of St. John for having refused her application to become a promise-to-geyser Dame purportedly because of her labourite roots.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I will leave you to read the particulars here. I beg you however to set aside for a moment the fact that it is rather ironic, oxymoronic and moronic in the least that a full-fledged labourite should be seeking any title such as a knighthood – especially by filling an internet application form. Here is an excerpt from the ending (WARNING: this piece might contain spoilers, should you prefer to enjoy the article in its full entirety click HERE first)….

It is very rare that leftists fill in applications to become knights as such honours slip on a leftist’s skin as water slips off a fish-skin – but curiosity did kill the cat in my case. Wanting to know what you needed to become a knight at this day and age… I discovered more than I should about the whole affair.

Well, speaking of exclusive clubs… and questioning what comes first: being titled or being rightist, I guess I’ll never ask this again. Wish the honourable, honorary and honoured Grand Master knew of all this! Rome being so far away! Will the dear readers ever see me honoured with knighthood or is it that in my case knighthood is denied?

I will leave it up to Marlow from Goldsmith�s She Stoops to Conquer to provide the final quote:

�the difference of our birth, fortune, and education,
make an honourable connection impossible.�

Advertisements

3 responses to “She Stoops to Conquer

  1. 1. Stop grovelling.
    2. Lorna Vassallo rocks.
    3. The woman is a loon.

  2. Opinion columns are the scourge of Maltese journalism, such as it is. The value of the blog is that if enough people do it, and at this rate we’ll be at three blogs per Maltese citizen by 2012, then they’ll have to pay attention. Right?
    One passing naivete in your post needs to be remarked on, however.

    “Others, hmm how shall I put this… others make me wonder whether the editor was on a drinking binge when their first application found its way from the in-tray to his desk.”

    A sure sign that you have never been involved directly in Maltese media is the fact that you think that the country’s editors have an in-tray. The truth is that if you send a letter to The Times longer than a thousand words you have suddenly become an oped writer. If you keep sending the columns once a week, you’ve just become a columnist, often unpaid. Maltese newspapers have no shredders, but no shortage of printers, and that’s the truth. Some time in the future historians will rightly describe The Times as a primitive form of blog. And then people say its dull!

  3. Argh opinion columns. When I misbehaved in office (which was er often), ed would make me proofread all the Sunday opinion drivel. Fortunately, my colleague misbehaved just as much so I could generally dump a couple of pages on him 🙂

    Btw, for amusement, try British tabloid opinion columns.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s