I.M. Jack (lite)

 

the gastric flu did not spare the computer

 

 

The winds that are blowing across the Duchy are reported to be reaching 110km/h and the heavy rainfall is predicted to reach 25 litres per square meter so I guess I should consider myself lucky to have been confined in my apartment thanks to an attack of gastric flu. The last four days have not been nice but I think that the worst is past and that I should be up and running at work by tomorrow. A roundup is on the agenda seeing how I have been M.I.A for an age in blogging terms.

Weather

The freak weather is in the news everywhere. I have been entertained by the various BBC Radio Stations throughout my convalescence and all phone-ins are in true Brit styke talking about the weather. Albion is soaked in heavy rain and freezing. This is not good news for the samba and pizza party that will take place at the Emirates Stadium (sold out) tonight. Less flair and catenaccio and more waterpolo will be expected. Elsewhere and poles apart Australia experienced schizophrenic phenomenon as Melbourne melted to incredible fires (suspected arson) and North-East Australia sunk under floods. I am told that even Malta has experienced a cold spell so the home country has not been spared. The scenes outsie are amazing… whirls of snow that cannot settle because of the strong winds… I never thought I’d say this but thank god for gastric flu.

Eurosong Cretins

Just to be clear I was not supporting Joseph Chetchuti for the Eurovision. I did not really support anyone but was using Chetcuti’s antics to point out this pathetic fallacy of our society where everybody thinks he has a god given right to do anything for the public and in the public’s face. Claire Bonello, Matthew Vella (Matthew manages to express my thoughts perfectly) and David Friggieri all took a different angle on the whole business of divos and divas in Maltese society. David seems to think that if we were to regulate kitsch we would end up without Festas… might be true but then again we don’t need to go to extremes either and I believe the main complaint is that there is no concept of self-moderation. I mean that in the sense that I would definitely never consider of running for the Eurovision “singing” some song because I am aware of my own limits. That is the difference. What is needed is not some kafkesque Board of Kitsch Censorship but a general lift in standards (and taste). This is not an appeal for another Board to ban another Stitching (what a farce indeed!) but a search for the real standards of Maltese society.

Political Mavericks

Which brings me to the political scene. Anybody can be a politician. It’s a basic right in a democracy. Unless you are a criminal or a non-Maltese national then you are free to run for Malta’s Parliament. Same applies for the EP (only you can be an EU national too in that case). Many, many people however mistake that to mean that any Tom, Dick or Harry has the stuff it takes to be a good politician. Democracy being what it is even clowns can be elected to parliament. Given a good marketing campaign you WILL elect clowns to parliament (vide Victoria Local Council vs. Patrick il-Hanfusa). You do not need to be a clown though. Being vaguely popular for some totally unpolitical reason suffices. You can be a D.J., a highfalutin’ journalist with a chip on your shoulder or even a jack-of-all trades and master of none. Political acumen does not come into it. You just have to convince (read “fool”) enough of the people that you are the man or woman for the job. Like the Eurovision, like low cost airlines bluffs, the choice is firmly in the hands of the demos. We cannot complain if we keep getting politicians we do not like as our very own representatives.

Liberal with the Word Liberal

As if Emmy and John were not enough now we have the Nats and Labourites arguing as to what exactly is a liberal. There is not and cannot be a definition of a liberal. Think about it for a second. Both Mussolini and Lenin thought they were liberals (at least in the beginning of their career). Liberalism is not easily defined because it can fit in different categories of politics and in its strict sense the word liberal can be much more easily used to describe a policy than a political movement. Which is why the whole controversy on who is or is not a liberal is almost a lilliptuian argument on which side to break the egg. A word of advice from the old J’accuse: ignore the marketing labels… concentrate on who is saying what and look for real commitments, not vague promises.

i.m. jack (edition lite – les réponses)

The Stinker (blurb coming up)

For reasons that are not necessarily known to you all I am trying to triple my work efforts at the Court in order to be able to justify a request for long leave during the Christmas period. My work ethic requires that I completely empty the To Do list on my desk (and hopefully a bit more) so as not to burden others with my responsibilities. This obviously means just one thing – that my blogging frequency slacks and that my replies to the various comments are close to nothing. Here is a little round up of happenings in order to keep things ticking as they should.

Apologies from Apologistas (So much so & So Long As)

Fausto, bless his soul, has continued with his Santista rant and still seems to toss and turn in his sleep about it all. The apologista has given us an apologia – a defence – of his cause. Basically his point is this – you can shout that you disagree with Sant till the cows come home – you did not do that in April (when you were holidaying in Kent) so you cannto do it now. that’s the So Long As part. So long as Fausto decides you agree with Sant then you agree with Sant. Then there is the “So Much So”. He is SOOOO not a defender and apologist of Paul Borg Olivier because he criticised him. So Much So because it is int he interests of the nationalist party that PBO exits (stage left) asap. So you see Fausto is not an apologista because he does criticise PBO…. and he did so because he worries that PN might end up with their own version of JM. Well… so long as we know which side his cookie crumbles… we are Santistas! (eppur si muove).

The Anton Sammut Defence Society of One

They are still at it. Getting miffed because I DARED judge a book by its cover. I did not but that is beside the point. The bunch of philosophiles who believe that I have no patriotism when it comes to philosophy (what a load of bull – I guess the Turks don’t read Socrates coz he’s greek innit!) still cannot stomach (or maybe comprehend) the fact that this book actually caught my attention because it was marketed in the way a paperback bestseller would be. The book’s promotion sent out the unmistakeable message that whoever was promoting it was trying to get as many people to read it as possible. Which is why the Blurb’s on the backpage sucked. They not only sucked they were counterproductive. Common man – the non spoudaios of our community – would not get as turned on as a philosophile on heat by the writings on the cover. Good marketing it was not.

I don’t know why I am bothering to answer all this again but for a moment I did think that this was a matter of interest to a number of readers who had bothered to log on if only to call J’accuse a philosophical fool of the highest order (in the worst English possible may it be added). I thought that the various Stijv’s, Carmen Caruana’s, Ricky’s and Leo’s might justify some kind of squeak from this Prince of Fools. I did. Until I noticed that Carmen, Ricky and Leo are very well like the Trinity. One and the same person. Still not sure about the Stijv but for heaven’s sake mate… grow up… or read some phliosophile book will you? Wankellectuals don’t grow on trees I guess.

Bertoons for J’accuse Calendar

i’ve advertised this before and will do so again. There’s a “bertoons4j’accuse” calendar that is up for sale at Redbubble. For €18 you can have a 2009 Calendar with 13 prints of Bertu’s best scribblings for J’accuse over 2008 (chosen by yours truly). So for once you can make do without the Pirelli calendar and go for some of the best political porn in circulation. Scandalous stuff. Really.

This has been j’accuse… replying so Carmen/Ricky/Leo doesn’t have to.

i.m. jack (lite)

Cold

Chill

The polar ice caps are cold this year. Not that they are never cold but it seems that they are colder than last year. Which means that when it will get cold this winter it will get particularly cold. It also means snow. Lots of it. Skiing will be in vogue once again… and the snow season will be better than last. Luxembourg is gearing up for the general warm up. Apparently we will have between eight and twelve centimetres of snow tomorrow. Nice. Time to start parking the voiture in the garage again. I can’t be bothered sweeping eight centimetres of snow off the roof of the Nissan.

Smooth and Warm

Espressos. They can be quite a treat when had at the right time. For those of a particularly sensitive stomach (like myself) the right timing for a good espresso is essential. I am always tempted by those espresso machines for the home but I hold back because it would only mean imbibing larger amounts of the brew. Illy’s Francis Francis  has always been the odds-on candidate for a place in the cuisine at Rue de Bragance. There is a new eco-friendly candidate however. It’s called the presso machine and is totally manually operated. This is what it looks like in all it’s manual-powered pressure glory:

The Presso

 Luke (warm)

Is the enthusiasm with which the new project for Juve’s new stadium that will replace the Stadio delle Alpi by 2011. I love the plans and I think I will postpone a visit to the stadium until this one is finally constructed. Last I watched Juve i was seated ultra-comfortably at the Emirates Stadium watching them trounce Arsenal in a summer friendly. The IFIL consortium would do well to take a leaf or two out of the English Premier team’s books when it comes to seeing how to construct a truly welcoming stadium. Hopefully the rather cold tifo Juventino will be transformed into the warmest centre under the biting cold of the Alps.

Artist Impression

I.M. Jack on Monday

Morning Mood

Monday morning kicks off with a phone call Chez J’accuse. It’s UPS or P&T you cannot really tell. My cows are coming home. Cows/bulls number three, four and five of my new collection are about to be delivered so I have to standby at home till deliveryman comes. Pirelli thinker, Hinducow and Night of the Living Dead cow will be with us pronto.

Mac and iPhone

Either it really sucks or I am missing something. I own an iMac G5 purchased in 2004. It’s ebay trading value is now settled around €450 (that’s almost €1500 down from original purchase price). Not being a Mac that is endowed with an intel processor it has its limits to upgrading. It could have been moved up one notch from Leopard, that’s true) but beyond that I am finding that more and more programs are strictly for the new generation of Macs with Intel inside. What that means is that, for example, I cannot upgrade Firefox to version3 because it requires Intel Macs (and Mozilla informs me kindly that Firefox 2.0 will only be updated until mid-December 2008). I cannot also upgrade my iTunes to iTunes 8.0 and will be eternally stuck on iTunes 7.0 should I want to use this Mac G5 for any more time.

Which brings me to the greatest humiliation that a Mac user can suffer. Having purchased the new iPhone 3G I was instructed to connect it to a PC/Mac with iTunes 8.0 running in order to effect the first configuration via iTunes. The shock and horror of being unable to do so on your mac and having to connect your iPhone to a Sony Vaio latop in order for life to be breathed into it cannot be recounted in words. Imagine hot tears running down your cheeks and a welling of the chest as your shaking hands connect the umpteenth wire in your connection and link Apple’s world to Sony’s iTunes compatibility.

There is something cynical about all this. Is Apple telling all its faithful users to dump their pre-Intel computers or else? Is this an early sign of Gates-like cheek? You are now addicted to the Apple… upgrade or fall on the wayside. Not cool. Not cool indeed.

(Disclaimer: As I said, I might be missing something but until now whatever it is seems to be pretty well hidden).

Fortis & Bingley

Fortis as in the Belgian Bank and Bingley as in Bradford and Bingley. Another two financial institutions on the edge of the rocking boat. Nationalisation anyone? Thank God that the last time I had money in a Fortis account was 1999. Last century’s business I guess.

Traffic Fines

The Luxembourg authorities, bearing the usual panache that they devote to these matters, report that they collected €11 million in traffic fines last year. If you want the definition of an anal traffic warden you can go practically anywhere in the world because most of them are very good at “doing their job”. Of course this does not mean that you are not entitled to suspect even so slightly that the World University of Traffic Wardens with A Chip on their Shoulder is hidden somewhere between Uberpallen, Briedel and Esch-Sur-Alzette.

Have a nice week. Musically speaking I would recommend Peter, Bjorn and Paul “Young Folks” which can be purchased online on the iTunes store (even if you have an earlier non-intel compatible version). You can also watch it stream on the vodpod in the right hand column on j’accuse.

This has been j’accuse. Kicking off the week so you don’t have to.

I.M. Jack – Roquefort

Oh look it’s Saturday again. And it’s a lovely cloudy day. Lovely cloudy because I slept in till 11. Lovely cloudy because breakfast was once again cholesterol based. Irish bacon has been replaced with Luxembourg Judd and the Judd performed its duties exquisitely. Spanish tortilla remains spanish tortilla. I only added a bit of fried red peppers and shallots. The coup de grace today came with the baked beans. Normally I just add them to a bit of fried onions and heat them up. Today I added a blob of roquefort* towards the end. Divine.

The News

I know that normally I.M. Jack is a news round up of sorts but I am not feeling up to providing links this morning/afternoon. I did read Bocca’s column and was not surprised to find that he has treated a couple of subjects that appear in my article tomorrow (The Cost of Free Speech). Not surprised not because I suspect any amount of spying or because of the old adage regarding great minds thinking alike and such (cannot really apply can it?) but rather because the past week was a bit soft on supplying juicy bites for columns. Anyways do rush out and buy the Indy tomorrow not only because of the J’accuse article but also because I am particularly proud of Bertu’s latest toon. I’m sure you’ll love it.

The Blogs

It is now safe. Bloggers who were slightly miffed by the extra attention afforded to the blogosphere during election time – especially bloggers who could not give two hoots about politics yet were worried of the labelling effect of political debate – can now crawl out of their respective hideouts and regale us with more interesting alternative subjects. I want to hear more about Claire’s law exams, ninhuadida’s meanderings, Maltagirl’s conjugal joys and the occasional artistic dig by nigredo and gybexi (I am told that even Immanuel’s blobb is back to life). I know that not of all them stayed silent during the storm and I know that there are more around but this is just a Saturday Sample. Let the blogosphere continue its natural erratic course and continue to widen its frontiers. Blogs the final frontier. Anyways. The absence of links in this paragraph should not frustrate readers and bloggers alike. All mentioned bloggers can be found in the J’Accuse Blogroll.Just click on the apposite link in the right hand sidebar (there’s only one sidebar anyway). One last thing if you have not joined Blogs of Malta don’t forget to do so as a reader or as a blogger. More pleasures ahead for that particular forum.

The Time

Is what is missing when you blog. Blogs, articles, work, the girlfriend, the flat and the life. Which is why I will stop writing now and be off to enjoy the weekend.

This has been I.M.Jack… blogging so you don’t have to…. have a nice weekend.

* Warning: Roquefort is in the list of edibles prohibited to coeliacs – it ain’t blue cheese without mould and it ain’t mould if it ain’t bread – and it ain’t bread if it ain’t got gluten. Coeliac Avzat, Loki Nadif.